I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
