i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
