In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
