If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
