Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
