Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
