Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
