i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
