Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
