you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish i was in the wii world.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
