Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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