I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
