need another drink. this is the easiest way
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
