so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
