All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
