he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
