I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
