Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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