How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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