Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
