so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize