i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize