Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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