Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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