Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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