Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
