I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
be right there i have to get my cape
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
