Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
they're like a gay fantastic four
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
