My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
