I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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