her vagine was all disorganized.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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