Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
