I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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