Dual....:-)
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
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