Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
