Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
