thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
