it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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