Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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