i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
