Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
