she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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