I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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