I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
