Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
