So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am one with the molecules
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
