Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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