Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
