i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
