i permit you to call me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
These tits shall not be calmed
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
