Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
