if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
