Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
