is your mom at the bar?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
did you just send me my own nude
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize