how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
