I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
