Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
