he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
