There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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