I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
