You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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