Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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