i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
