Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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