38 yer olds are good kisserssss
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
