Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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