20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize