I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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