I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
