you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
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I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.