Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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