Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize