his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.