I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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