It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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