thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize