I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
