She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
