I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?