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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"

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• (477): View more from

  YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (585): View more from New York

  He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir

  (716): View more from New York

  That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people

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• (409): View more from Texas

  He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I love you

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• (213): View more from California

  I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.

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