I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
