sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.