Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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